Who should I date? Part 7 (minutes in heaven or some other shoe-closet equivalent)

Ah, here we are again, faced again with the eternal question: Who should I date? (or for you snobbish grammaristas out there, Whom should I date? Definitely not you.) This is the seventh installment of our first-round matchups for matchmaking. Unlike past competitions for coupling which there were many a ridiculous competitor (16th seeds if you will), this round features two very serious candidates who will need every single vote to make it to the next round. It's do or date time! Let's get it on! So, dear reader, who should I date??

Gadget
Why I like her: I've watched this petite hottie of an inventor/grease-mouse for some years, since around the age of 6 to be exact. After all this time, I've come to the cumclusion that this wrench-wench is the only blonde I'm interested in sharing my nuts and bolt with (Scarlett Johansson, you've officially been demoted!). Not only is her butt-length hair way hot, but she's got the smarts to match. That's like combining MIT with U of Miami. Who else could create an all-terrain vehicle out of plungers and rubberbands while rocking an hour-glass figure? McGeyver, consider your number taken. And she handles tools like no other mouse this side of Anaheim, and guess what? There's no bigger tool than yours truly. I'm the Black & Decker all-in-one power drill in the toolshed of life.

Also on the plus side is the fact that the only competition in my way is an overweight mouse with a bad Sean Connery accent more interested in getting it on with a hunk of gouda than with a female, and two chipmunks, one of which wears a Tommy Bahama I'm-an-obnoxious-tourist-in-Hawaii shirt everyday of the year and the other who dresses up as Indiana Jones on the regular, thus demonstrating his unwavering grip on reality. Plus their voices are higher than Mike Tyson's on helium. Not exactly Don Juans in the treehouse. Not to mention, I'm at least 60 times the size of these misguided vermin. Don't get it twisted, size matters and I'm a god among ants in this scenario. (Normally, I'm the needle in a haystack or the shoe-string on a plate of crinkle cuts. FAIL)

Did I mention she's a mouse? Getting some tail takes on whole new meanings with her. Gadget puts the FINE back in redefine. Check her badass self at 7:29 of this clip:



OR

The Girlfriend Lap Pillow
Why I like her: For some reason, when she introduced herself to me one winter evening, her name immediately made me think "girlfriend." I admit I couldn't help but stare at her legs all night, but a person's best attribute always stands out and this was her only attribute. I couldn't resist the urge to lay my head upon her supple legs. It was like resting my head against a cloud or a cotton ball or a woman's thighs. I felt like a babe in me mother's lap. Is that weird? Probably. But The Girlfriend Lap Pillow doesn't judge. She only welcomes. She let me sleep there all night and not once did she complain that she was "losing circulation to her legs" or that I was "snoring so loudly I caused an avalanche in the Swiss Alps" or that I was "sucking my thumb like a little bitch that misses his momma and really needs to cut the cord already because he should be a grown ass man but his infantile ways are starting to make him look more disposable than yesterday's newspaper." But no, she did not utter a single complaint, or a single word for that matter. There was only tender, love, and care in her silence...and in her legs. To top it off, she also comes in a black skirt.

One caveat though, I worry that I may cheat on her with a snuggie.

This race is a dead heat (kind of like a zombie fart), so cast your vote now!