Why is 'squash' the only vegetable that functions as a verb? Then again, I suppose you could always 'cucumber' somebody but that's probably inappropriate and/or kinkalicious, not to mention painful...well, at least for this non ex-con.So which came first, the vegetable or the verb 'squash'? Probably the verb right? Because if you named an action after the vegetable squash, wouldn't that action involve turning into a yellowish, firm, phallic plant? "I squashed you" would have a completely different meaning. The subsequent sentence would have to be: "You are now a colorful, edible, penis-substitute."
But since we know the action is that of crushing something and making it go splat, I would assume the vegetable came second since a squash can be squashed and go splat. However, many vegetables and fruits have this quality (e.g. tomatoes, strawberries, schnozzberries). And so do many insects. And small defenseless woodland creatures. And infants...well, with enough force. All these things could be 'squashes.' But yet only the boner plant gets the designation of 'squash.'
And how come there are no phallic vegetables used in the sport 'squash'? I mean, you got the balls, might as well throw in the..........And 'squash' seems like an inappropriate name for the game anyway. It's more like 'tennis confined in a cube' or 'too upperclass for handball? let's use rackets and air conditioning'. The real sport of 'squash' should be about squashing squashes until they're completely squashed. Either that or launching squashes off the roof at bald people. Yeah, that's right, Baldism.
