And the winner is...

In two impressive lop-sided victories this weekend, Manny Pacquiao pummeled the aged Oscar De La Hoya (aged as in moldy cheese, not aged as in fine wine) and the superheroine (not to be confused with super heroin, that shit make you crazy) Wonder Woman had her way with Your Mom.

A faster, more powerful, and even heavier Pacquiao proved on Saturday night that poor people from the Philippines are not to be messed with, no matter how funny their heavily accented English is. "Umm, I um wurried because I um nut rilly wurried..." He embarrassed De La Hoya by landing a barage of power punches so easily that he was simultaneously enjoying a strawberry Jamba Juice and walking his dog Aso.

In parallel occurrences, this past week's showdown for my affection ended in a landslide win for Wonder Woman who made Your Mom lick the bottom of her red leather boots. It was a surprising and embarrassing upset for Your Mom, who led with Las Vegas bookies by 2 to 1 and had the clear advantage in the child-bearing-hips department. However, voters were clearly turned off by the prospect of me dating Your Mom (or worse, becoming Your Dad) and were more enticed by the prospect of me getting Invisible Jet-head, as Double W received all votes minus 2 write-ins (for Jessica Alba even though I'm clearly out of her league, and for a unicorn whose single ribbed horn frightens me).

Wonder Woman advances to the next round, and Your Mom remains lonely...Until next time, I'm Boogie Brown and this is my imagination.