Why don't we pronounce "Mrs." as "misters" since it's written as the plural form of "Mr."? If I were to read "Mrs." without pronouncing it out loud, I would assume that the English language is trying to tell us that a married woman is really equal to two or more men. Is it 'cuz she's got at least twice the balls to be married to that guy?
(That guy of course being this guy.)
(Is he nipping?...Are Japanese folks offended by that participle?)
But then when we say "Mrs." aloud, it's pronounced "Misses." WTF? So Mrs. Kittencaboodle is really the plural of Miss Kittencaboodle, as in Misses Kittencaboodle? She's twice or more the Kittencaboodle??
So "Mrs." is both plural of "Mr." and "Miss?" Then is it simply true that upon marriage, Miss Kittencaboodle suddenly transformed into 2+ men and 2+ women and is ultimately the ultimate multiplying hermaphrodite?? Twice the vaj and twice the schlongo??? Fuck Super Saiyan mode, it's all about Mrs. status!
And finally, what about the more contemporary, pro-feminist, non-marriage specific "Ms." which is pronounced "Mizz." What exactly is a Mizz? Sounds like something Snoop would come up with. "I smizzed this blizz and now I'm out of wizz. Gotta bizz to the dizzealer and cop mizz chrizz." Whizz yizz thizz abizz thizz shizz?
P.S. If you were to flirt with Mr. T, would you go up to him and ask, "So is there a Mrs. T? I pity the fool!"
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
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