Resumes Revisited

At my office, an intern applicant cited "Stella Artois" as one of his outside interests on his resume. In fact his resume was written on a napkin. Needless to say, he's hired, and I now report to him.

It never occurred to me that an "Interests" section on the resume was a good idea. To me it always seemed unnecessary, irrelevant, and unprofessional. I usually try to stick to work-related skills on my resume like "5 years of bear-grappling" and "2002 World's Deepest Throat," but after some convincing from co-workers, I've decided that an "Interests" section can help make a candidate stand out (assuming they can't boast unique skills like "Kung-Fu grip model for GI Joe action figures").

So, as I am retooling my resume for this rising recession, I will be adding some of my most interesting interests. Let me know if you think these will help me stand out in the eyes of an employer (read: new pimp).

Interests:
-Scavenger hunts
-people that remind me of fruits
-palindromes
- racecar
-that moment right before you remembered a person's name hours after the conversation in which said person came up
-the color perrywinkle
-breakfast burritos, ice cream sandwiches, and dessert pizza
-public hair
-...yes, I do mean public
-The Dread Pirate Roberts
-the discovery of new moles on my body
-unusual idioms, e.g the devil's in the details (yikes! Satan!), by the skin of my teeth (your teeth have skin? those aren't teeth), chewing the fat (barf!)
-Time Travel
-people who hold open beverage containers with the same hand their wristwatch is on
-think about that one for a second...
-all things homo: homographs, homonyms, homophones
-Uranus
-the burping sound of tupperware
-"Friends Forever"
-Suppressing laughter after witnessing someone slip and fall
-Christmas lights in September

What are your resume "interests?"