Who should I date? Part Fwhore!

(the whore of course being me, not any of the contestants...except for maybe the Green M&M. Word on the street is that that green shell ain't hard to crack.)

After months of hiatus, during which time competitors in this contest for commingling are thoroughly tested for contagious diseases such as Emptyheadedness, Self-Absorption, and Gonorrhea (curiously called 'The Clap'...when you catch it, does a mischievous gnome come out and applaud?), the first round of match-ups will now continue with our fwhoreth competition between two of the most talked about contestants. As always, it's up to YOU to decide the outcome...Who should I date? and bestow all my tender goodness to. (oooh, ending a sentence with a preposition! I'm such a rebel!)

Who should I date?

Catwoman
Why I like her: First, let's be clear here. I'm not talking about the real Catwoman. I'm delusional but not completely unrealistic. Selina Kyle is clearly out of my league, her whip truly frightens me, and let's face it, Bats got it on lock. And usually a goalie would never stop me, but Christian Bale in the cape and cowl dropping F-bombs in my face is a real deterrent. I don't want him to call me unprofessional.

And I'm also not talking about the strange 60-year-old woman with more cats than relatives that lives next door. She's the cat-lady. And smells like gouda.

I'm talking about the Catwoman imposter to the right. I actually met her at the circle jerk known as Comic Con. Let's add this up: attractive female + loves comics + @ comic con + in a leather catsuit + not afraid to be nerdterviewed by Boogie Brown and Demken = viable partner in love. If there is a better woman out there, please stand up...and try on the catsuit.

I can see it now, her dressed as Catwoman, me dressed as Darkwing Duck, in the cramped aisles at Forbidden Planet, and we both reach for the last copy of Astonishing X-Men #25. She claws my face, I spit in her eye, we tussle on the floor for a while until we lock eyes and realize...that this is what it sounds like when doves cry. I wonder if she has a light saber...

OR

The waving golden cat at every Chinese food spot you ever been to
Why I like her: For some reason, I gaze into this kitty's eyes and I feel lucky. If that's not a reason to be with someone, then I don't know what is. And she's always there for me, I know just where to find her--any countertop opposite dead ducks hanging in the window. She really welcomes everyone too. No matter your race, gender, or class, she will wave to you hello and wave to you good-bye because that's what a beautiful, open feline she is. I think I need that in my life. She's also great to go to rap concerts with; she just can't help but "fan the flames."

And last but not least, I can see myself reflected in her. She really allows me to see myself. I never knew I was so golden!