Suck My Tweets

First it was AOL profiles. Next was Asian Ave. Then it was Friendster. Followed by Xanga. Then MySpace. Soon to be dominated by Facebook. And subsequently Blogger and sometimes Youtube. Now it's Twitter. Yes, that's right, I'm on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/Boogie_Brown). It's official folks, I have no social life. (But I suppose that was the case pre-CompuServe days anyway.) I am completely hooked up to the Matrix right now, and any and all resistance is ultimately futile. You might as well call me Boogie Borg. (Yes, a Star Trek TNG reference right after a Matrix ref. I'm really embracing my inner geeksta.)

I am now transforming my daily mundane thoughts and experiences into cyber descriptions of my mundane thoughts and experiences, and guess what? They go straight to your cell phone! Now I can annoy you from anywhere in the world! This is clearly the work of some deviant megalomaniacal super-villain. Lex Luther wishes he created something half as twistedly brilliant.

I haven't quite mastered the 140-character tweet yet, but I think I'm doing moderately well. Here's a sample of some of the twitterific tweets you're currently missing out on:

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like to be on the other side of a Care Bear stare? I'd prolly jiz out a heart."

"I wonder if Mike Tyson is on twitter. Who wouldn't want updates about his threats to stomp on your children's testicles?"

"If i were to get a face tattoo, it'd be microscopic so that from afar it looks like a mole but under magnifying glass you'd see my portrait."

"Ugh, in Philly. Don't get me wrong, I like Philly but it's like the training bra of big cities."

"The woman that just walked by me had the deepest voice I ever heard. Waitaminute..."

"I think dmetri martin is biting my shit...not to say he's a fecal eater, but that his comedy seems like it straight from me blahg."

So hurry up and let me tweet you all day into twitterdom, yout twitterful little twitt. (http://www.twitter.com/Boogie_Brown)