Who should I date? #5!

It's March Madness folks, but the madness is just continuing here at The Get Down. Bracketology doesn't only pertain to basketball; it's also about the competition for companionship. We have 64 women competing head-to-head in a do-or-die tournament for the ultimate prize: my everlasting affection (and by everlasting, I mean about 3 weeks worth). We've already witnessed a few upsets, some cinderellas, and monumental beatings as several competitors have advanced to the second round including the Green M&M, Eva Mendes, Wonder Woman, and the Lucky Golden Money Cat Found in Chinese Restaurants. And here we are again, in the midst of yet another heated first round matchup (as opposed to ketchup). As usual, the readers decide their fate. So, who will it be folks? Who should I date??

Your Ex-Girlfriend
Why I like her: She really despises you for breaking up with her via a post-it note, and your current happiness is burning her inside, not to mention that that chlamydia you gave her is burning her outsides. She wants nothing more than revenge by emotionally cracking you open with an emotional sledge hammer. So what better way to get her last laugh than to have a fling with your best friend...Me! There's not a thing she wouldn't do with me just to get back at you. I could take her to Comic Con, a 3D animated movie, a Magic: The Gathering tournament. There's nothing she wouldn't do...Not to mention, that while you two dated, I secretly longed for her. That's a weird saying, "longing" for someone. It's not like she made me get taller. Then again, maybe only a certain part of me got taller, HEYYOOOO!!! And no worries about the chlamydia. I already have it from borrowing your towel.

OR

Your Current Girlfriend
Why I like her: I've witnessed how happy she makes you, and I want in. It's not everyday I come across a woman like her. She's teeming with a quiet confidence that lets you know everything's gonna be ok. She's always there for you in your times of need but never crowds your personal space. She's gentle to the touch but firm enough to support you. And she really goes with the flow. You can take her anywhere, on business trips, on vacations. It doesn't matter because there's no stress with her, only relief and release. And she's the first airhead that I could really appreciate. It's not fair that you keep her entirely to yourself, locked away in the false bottom of your closet. How could you be so inhumane? She mustn't be hidden away. Someone like her could make the whole world a happier place. One look at her, and you just gotta smile.