It's a historic victory today as we have the first hands down, unanimous decision in the "Who Should I Date?" love connection competition. The people have spoken, and they agree: they really don't give a crap about their ex-girlfriends. In fact, some are straight up vindictive and seem to subscribe to the belief that dating me would be just punishment for their former lovers. I don't see how that line of reasoning makes any sense considering that I am the world's greatest lover since Ma-Ti of the Planeteers..."HEART!"....on second thought, most of his "heart" went to an adorable monkey Kukuphat in a not-so-beastiality way whatsoever....Whatever, my statement still stands.
But anyway, the people seem to think better their ex than their current. So be it. As long you don't suddenly get jealous by your ex's newfound adoration for me, my wordsmithing, and my uncanny ability to make even the most mundane moments awkward ("oh my, Ex-gf's mom, you have a great handshake. I bet that grip is how you found your husband"), then it's all good in the hood.
So congrats to the reviled ex for being our first unanimous victor in this vaginous competition. She's luckier than you think. And I probably won't "rip her a new one" as requested by one jaded voter, but I will B my L all over her T's. (translation: B=Broil; L=Lemon-marinated pork; T's=Thermal insulated state-of-the-art ovens...She's got a great kitchen.)
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In a post-game interview, your current girlfriend expressed no sense of deflation over the matter.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
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1 comment:
umm...that is the best clip of captain planet ever. strange how i don't remember it growing up; i think it would have validated my feeling that heart was the most useless of the androgynous species on earth. he didn't deserve a vagina OR a penis, let alone a captain planet ring.
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