I heart fat women as much as the next chubby chaser. I hit on women at bars that would disgust the average white guy. So understand that I mean no disrespect when I say that there should be a rule that you can't be a flight attendant if you've got the body of a cop. When I'm beauty sleeping in my aisle seat, I should not be suddenly woken up by Officer Wiggins' jelly donut ass crashing into my shoulder. I'll let it slide the first time, but when it happens thrice, we gotta give the flight attendant a timeout and make her sit down below with the other over-sized luggage. And when her ginormous badonkadonk knocks over my personal TV screen causing it to collide into my shin, I think it's clear that airline uniforms should no longer be produced for those that wear size "too big for elastic waistbands."
Look, I don't mind the wrinkly, has-been flight attendants who were stewardesses in the 60's or the ones who look like failed drag queens on speed or even the gay male ones who are just as sarcastic as Will&Grace's Jack but not in the least bit endearing. But I do have a problem with the flight attendants with asses reminiscent of Al Roker hugging a mirror. That's pre-surgery Al of course. It's just not practical when the width of your booty is wider than the width of the aisle. If you're a flight attendant who feels like Winnie the Pooh stuck in a tree, it's probably time to sign up at Monster and start thinking about a career change.And like I said, I really have no problem with the bigness in other aspects of my life. (please see my collection of Bubblebutts magazine for proof) I just don't need it ten thousand feet in the air. I already have my seat cushion to use as a flotation device.
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