Go Pac Yourself

In less than 36 hours, the world's best pound-for-pound fighter Manny Pacquiao of the Philippines will go toe-to-toe with the Golden Boy of hand-to-hand boxing, Mexican-American Oscar De La Hoya. Pacquiao, having won titles in four different weight classes, will be facing yet another uphill battle by moving up two more classes to face the welterweight De La Hoya. We here at The Get Down caught up with the Filipino fighter at his Las Vegas press conference earlier this afternoon.

"I've fought larger guys before. It's not a problem," said Pacquiao, in response to lingering doubts about his clear size disadvantage to the bigger De La Hoya.

In fact, Manny's list of thwarted opponents includes Goliath, mostly known for his cameo in the widely popular Bible; the electric Blanka, the green Brazilian of Street Fighter fame known for gnawing at competitors while latched to their backs; and George Muresan, the 7'7" NBA center and co-star of the Billy Crystal flop My Giant. It is alleged that Muresan once stayed at the Bellagio in Las Vegas, and running into Pacquiao, gave the boxer his bags thinking Pacquiao was a bellhop. Sadly for Muresan, Pacquiao threw his devastating left hook into the basketball giant's knee. The reverberations from the blow were so damaging that Muresan's heart exploded on impact. At which point, he died.

"This is my greatest challenge," said Pacquiao. "When I take that walk to the ring to fight Oscar, I will carry all the people of the Philippines - the entire country - on my shoulders."

Indeed, hoisting over 90 million brown-faced people over your shoulders and walking them down an aisle is probably the greatest physical challenge of all time. As daunting as it is step into the ring against a bigger fighter, lifting that many rice-bloated people without getting a hernia on the way there is easily the more difficult task. As is often the case, Manny has his sights on two titles tomorrow night: World's Strongest Man and World's Smallest Walking Forklift.

"That's why it's called the Dream Match," Pacquiao told journalists at the end of the press conference. After closing his IBM Thinkpad, Pacquiao left the room and left reporters stunned by his hour-long presentation on REM sleep and the neurological basis of dreams. Pacquiao's deftness with the subject was equally matched by his clear comfort discussing Descartes' theories on perception, using the philosopher's musings as a framework for the science-based Powerpoint.

The room remained silent during the entirety of the presentation minus the sound of Pacquiao chewing on the end of his glasses--a professorial pair of bifocals he pulled out of his right breast pocket specifically for the conference. Oddly enough, he never wore the glasses, but only chewed on them. He did at one point, however, breathe on the frames and proceeded to wipe them clean with the bottom end of his floral necktie.

But will Pacquiao's intricate knowledge of neurology help him evade rapid-fire jabs to the face? The outcome of the Dream Match is anyone's guess at this point. One thing is for sure though: the world will be watching. At the very least, the former colonial worlds of Spain will be watching.