I just realized that a lot of common expressions used to connote laughter in the world of instant messaging completely change meaning when divided in half. For example, if you say ‘haha,’ it means you’re pleasantly amused and acknowledging the humor of the current conversation. But if you say ‘ha,’ you’ve suddenly become sarcastic and you’re pretty much saying ‘you fucking idiot…only thing funny bout u is your FACE!’ Fascinating!
But then, if you double the ‘haha’ and use ‘hahahaha,’ you’re genuinely laughing and saying to your IM recipient ‘holy shit, dawg, u just made me piss my pants worse than grandpa with a Big Gulp.’ Astonishing!
If you’re the more anime cutesy type, u probably use ‘hehe.’ ‘Hehe’ usually means ‘I close my eyes and cover my face with a fan while giggling.’ But cut that in half and instead you get the masculine subject pronoun ‘He.’ Suddenly it’s manly. Mind-boggling!
Now let’s say you’re a cartoon mouse or cuddly forest creature with big glassy, baby eyes and wireless internet access, you probably eek out a ‘teehee,’ meaning ‘this is what a squeaky giggle sounds like.’ But when divided, now you get ‘tee’ and the cuddly cartoon animal is swinging a golf club while bulldozers tear down the forest to make way for the other 17 holes. Intriguing!
But if you’re some sort of masked villain talking to a captured nemesis (via the internet), you probably use ‘mwahaha’ to display your sociopathic delight after you monologue (not to be confused with travelogue) about your diabolical scheme to take over the planet. However, split that in two and suddenly you went from mocking your captive, to kissing them. Clearly, villainy and affection go hand in hand. Enlightening!
Lastly, if you’re a mime with a modem, all you can type is :) Sever that head in two and you get punctuation. Doctorate-worthy!
[Side note: Do they call 'em colonels cuz they're big assholes?]
1 comment:
you neglected the 'kekekekeke'
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