Hancocking the Blogosphere

Recently inspired by some riveting travel blogs (mostly my own, circa May 2009, peep the archives), I recently embarked on a journey to the other side of the world on my first ever blog signing tour. It's kind of like a book signing tour except rather than inscribing my name on the inside cover of a 200-page paperweight, ahem, I mean paperback, I take a large sharpie marker and doodle my childhood memories all over your laptop screen. A vast improvement to your personal computer I assure you. Who wouldn't want "Daddy yells at mommy while ignoring me" rendered in perfect felt tip chiaroscuro as their permanent desktop?

And for my especially good looking blog followers, my blollowers, (but let's be real, I have a dearth of those. Good looking people don't read blogs. They get laid.) they get a nice wet kiss on their laptop screen too. You might be wondering if I don lipstick for the occasion to leave a nice lasting impression of my face labias. The answer is no. But I do eat a generously frosted cupcake beforehand which allows me to leave a nice pair of sugar lips beside my rendition of "Kindergarteners throw erasers at my face...when I was a fourth-grader."

The Boogie Brown's Get Down International Spectacular Blog Signing Booty Shaking Body Snaking Tour (that's the annotated title) was extremely extensive and extravagant. I went to two cities. Well actually, two airports. Well, actually, two airport parking lots. Those of Newark Liberty (not to be confused with the equally dreadful New York Liberty) and Narita International in Tokyo, home to their cartoon mascot Kutan. She, he, or it is exactly what I think about when flying to Japan: a cutesie giant potato with arms, legs, and goggles ready to navigate the open skies. And let me just say, there is no sarcasm here. I really do think about giant potatoes when I'm high in the sky.

More insights from my travels later, so in the meantime, konichiwait.