In a startling turn of events, as Shaved-head Cassie went head to spud with a Potato, the two competitors for companionship suddenly combined their powers in the midst of heated combat, combining to form a super-mega-awesome-mecha-happy amalgam of themselves: Shaved Potato-Head Masshie!! Excelsior!!!
In the beginning of the match, the I-need-Britney-like-attention-since-I-have-no-career-so-I-shaved-my-head-but-just-halfway-cuz-I-lost-the-nerve-and-realized-I'm-not-white-trash pop singer was neck and neck with her starchy adversary, or neck and potato rather. They traded blows for hours while exchanging excessive trash talk..."Hey small fry, Idaho fucking sucks!" "Hey Cassie, even I'm more famous than you! You can't even get a cameo on the Surreal Life!"
But after the 11th hour of altercation and unnice words, the impossible happened. As Cassie thrust a peeler at Potato while Potato sat there like a sack of potatoes, a glowing green aura emanated from this unlikely pair and lit up the sky in a blinding flash!!! "When your powers combine, I am SHAVED POTATO-HEAD MASSHIE!" It was beautiful. More beautiful than a single snowflake falling adrift on a baby's button nose. More beautiful than the whale songs of a lovelorn humpback. More beautiful than when Hot Rod unleashed the Matrix of Leadership to light their darkest hour...
And there she stood. 12 stories high, packed with empty carbs and multi-racial hotness. The mere sight of her caused many to faint, while a few others, who just couldn't even fathom such a perfect concoction, had their heads explode while trying to grasp the situation. It was glorious. Now all we need is Jessica Alba to combine with a cheeseburger (preferably animal style).
First Round Winner: Shaved Potato-Head Masshie
Hot Potato - 1, Anticlimactic ending - 0
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