Fun with Antonyms! Hooray!...or should I say "Aw Shucks?"

Conan does analogies for SAT prep, I do antonyms for GRE prep. Someone very smart once told me opposites attract. I hope this attracts me a lot of ladies :) Alright! Giggidy giggidy giggidy!

[Note: These are antohymns. Please sing aloud to the melody of your favorite church song.]


trepidation :: confidence

New York Knicks :: success

Sarah Palin :: anything remotely good for humanity

cleanliness :: my dad's toenails-ness

whorehouse :: comic book store

commando :: underpants

thank you :: shiv to the abdomen...and twist

Sammy Sosa :: blackface

delicious :: cream cheese with vanilla ice cream (dairy was a bad idea!)

Pope Ratzinger :: Obi Wan Kenobi

health insurance :: Republican idiocy

Muslim :: Muoverweight

gladiolas :: unhappyolas (Note: my cousin told this joke at his wedding. Yes, that's right, his wedding. Best of luck to his wife.)

butter face :: jelly ass

belly flop :: washboard abs river (a Texas Hold 'Em joke? Really?)

miniscule :: Rush Limbaugh's FACE

dry skin :: wet turkey breast

sense :: this blog

complete devotion to artistic integrity and aesthetic goodness :: Black Eyed Peas

mortal enemy :: my best friend Zombie Teddy!

self-affirming experience :: that time I fell asleep in freshman Bio and I had a dream about Ligers (lion + tiger) and I yelled myself awake in front of the whole class by yelping out loud "Please don't bite me Mr. Pussy Cat!!" to which the teacher replied, "I won't bite...hard."

clowns :: kind-hearted people that make children smile

the beginning of a book :: the end of fun and leisure

cinnamon :: antonym

reading my blog :: curing cancer, ending world hunger, fixing the environment, solving the economic crisis, ensuring world peace, erasing the hate, etc. etc.